


i will dream of you

by my_infinite_variety



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Dead Arthur, Dreams, F/M, M/M, Nightmares, POV Arthur, Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Symbolism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 02:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20220604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_infinite_variety/pseuds/my_infinite_variety
Summary: death is similar to dreaming like dreaming is similar to being alive. it's reminiscent enough to pass and out of place enough to bring about questionsorarthur dies and dreams of Camelot.





	1. I Will Fall Like I Sin

**Author's Note:**

> i might continue this, i might not  
we'll see

When Arthur died, it was dark in a way that was neither scary or comforting. It was simply empty of anything, including fear or the gentle caress of Merlin’s forehead against his temple. 

When Arthur woke in a world that was his and yet not, he simply sank in the twisted reality that was made for him. Lost himself partially to the monotony that was sunshine through his window and papers on his desk. But he had never truly learned to be idle. 

Merlin scrubbed the floors with his left hand and clutched the bucket with his right hand and it felt wrong to watch, like something what out of place that Arthur couldn’t identify. He didn’t speak, didn’t move from his place at his desk, 

He didn’t feel as if he was a participant in the scene presented to him. It felt as if he was a viewer, left to observe and submit to what would happen. Even as Merlin moved around the room, uncharacteristically quiet and strangely precise in his cleaning, Arthur’s eyes were drawn to the flowers* on the desk. 

They were tied together and left in a short clay vase, the petals a bright pink but the flowers themselves facing downwards in a droopy sort of fashion even with the thickness of their stems. 

When he looked up, Merlin was gone and the floor was dry as if a wet cloth had never touched it.

He stood, felt the air shift as the chair fell back in his haste. But there wasn’t a sound of wood hitting wood, not even a tap. Arthur whipped around, faced with a perfectly upright chair and an unscuffed floor. He tried to call out for Merlin, his lips shaping the woods, but no air left his mouth and the room was startlingly silent**. 

He had no time to panic before he felt nothing beneath his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * These flowers are meant to be cyclamen and they symbolize separation
> 
> ** Silence in dreams can symbolize anxiously waiting for something


	2. Bones In My Closet

As soon as his feet touched grass and his vision was filled with greenery and the shine of the mid-day sun, Arthur’s mind was emptied whatever unnerving scene or thoughts from before. Instead he was thankful for the singing of the birds, the knicker of his horses, and the timbre of Merlin’s laugh in his ear. It was if he was a prince once again, content with the training of his knights and the time spent with Merlin.

The king turned to find his companion with a grin from ear to ear, his dark hair a mess, his tunic a dull white, and his neckerchief looser than normal. It was a bright yellow, contrasting against his black hair and giving Arthur a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that he dismissed. _Merlin is trying something new_, Arthur reasoned. _We’re just out for the afternoon_. But it didn’t stop his responding smile from being strained and off. 

He reached out, if only to rest a hand on Merlin’s shoulder, and furrowed his brows when his manservant was cold to the touch. Just as the thought reached his mind, a wind blew through the trees and sent a shiver through both of them as if the forest was trying to justify Merlin’s chill. 

“How about a ride, my lord?” Merlin asked before Arthur could ask, his voice bright and... not quite right. Merlin’s “my lord” didn’t sound mocking, only seemed to be a title, and Arthur tried to shake the notion that something was wrong. The king wanted to ask what was wrong, ask if he’d come down with something, but instead he nodded and mounted his horse in one smooth motion.

He’d barely raised his head before Merlin was atop his own horse and racing through the trees. Arthur, compelled to follow*, urged his own steed forward and tried to gain ground in his favor, but Merlin was always the same distance ahead. He push harder, frustration building up in his chest, but it felt as if Merlin was racing farther and farther, just out of reach.

Merlin’s laughter, loud and distorted, filled the air and Arthur realized that the birds had stopped singing now that Arthur had stopped paying attention. His horse, once a soft brown, was as dark** as Merlin’s hair and when he rose his head, he was faced with the emptiness of Merlin’s once expressive eyes and the stillness of a white*** horse. 

Everything was still, the wind gone and the birds absent. Even the horses didn’t make a noise and Arthur didn’t dare breath. Merlin’s eyes, boring into his, were dark in a way Arthur had never witnessed. Arthur, swallowing hard and parting his lips to break the silence, stiffened as Merlin’s voice filled the air.

It was warm, warm in a way the Merlin in front of him hadn’t been. The Merlin in front of him rippled like a reflection, his lips still and his face impassive as he and his horse faded in the greenery. And the king was left to the word that echoed in his ears.

“_Arthur_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Following in a dream can indicate an influence of sorts
> 
> ** Black horses in dreams can indicate a rebirth of sorts
> 
> *** White horses in dreams can indicate a spiritual awareness

**Author's Note:**

> don't forget to comment!


End file.
